Interview with the Genius
by vsdefender
Summary: The author interviews Graviton City's leading scientific mind.


This is a Project A-ko fanfic. The characters are the creation of Yuji Moriyama and Katsuhiko Nishijima and are the property of Final-Nishijima. This fanfic is written without the consent or knowledge of either of those two gentlemen. I hope that this covers all the neccessary legal talk. I doubt that anyone would sue over this modest fanfic but who knows? In our overly litigious society anything is possible.  
  
Interview with the Genius  
by vsdefender  
naughtiusmaximus@juno.com  
  
  
  
vsdefender: As promised I am conducting an interview with someone I think we can all agree is an expert on the matter of historical technical progress no matter what our opinion is in the "Z" debate. Miss B-ko Daitokuji I want to thank you for taking the time to come in today to give us the benefit of your expertise. May I also say what an honor it is to have you here.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: Your welcome. I'm glad for the opportunity to clear up any misconceptions that might have occured due to the Z.E.D. propaganda. Also, you need not kiss my ass, I already get plenty of that type of behaviour from my employees.  
  
vsdefender: Sorry. It won't happen again. There are a number of assertions made by Tim: Champion of Z.E.D. that are either false or misleading. Perhaps you would care to start with the Leonardo Da Vinci issue.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: This is a classic example of someone who is grasping at straws. Da Vinci indeed! The man was the world's greatest doodler! To say that he was the greatest intellect humanity ever produced is laughable. For one thing Tim seems to be totally discounting me, which he'll end up regretting. What did the man leave behind? A crudy little workshop filled with musty old drawings and some dusty paintings. Not an awe inspiring legacy if you ask me.  
  
vsdefender: Tim asserts that every invention known to humanity was first conceived in Da Vinci's mind. Certainly that would make the man one of the greatest intellects ever.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: HA! Any moron can dream up an idea in his head, it takes true genius to bring the idea to life. If Leonardo Da Vinci is so great let's see HIM build giant mecha overnight.  
  
vsdefender: Good point. Now, if you would be so kind, I would like you to shed some light on The Secret Vaults of Thomas Edison. Particularly the cloning technique that he perfected.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: Edison's use of the phonograph in cloning animals and humans is probably the best example of why ZEE is superior to Z.E.D. The phonograph itself is a cloning device.  
  
vsdefender: How so?  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: It should be blindingly obvious even to a simpleton like yourself. The phonograph was able to clone sound. Obviously cloning living creatures is more involved than just reproducing sound but the basic principles are there.  
  
vsdefender: Perhaps you could be just a tad more specific.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: If I'm too specific then everyone will be able to imitate Edison's cloning technique and clone themselves. The Earth's population would double overnight.   
  
vsdefender: I can appreciate that but the Z.E.D.ophiles will want something a little more substantial.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you. When Edison completed the phonograph he realized that he could use his invention to clone animals and eventually even humans through a process called harmonic resonance.Simply put, the original body and the copy were tuned to the same pitch.  
  
vsdefender: ???  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: If you can't understand simple laymen's terms how could you possibly understand the more technical details? Let me put it this way, Edison used the phonograph to emit a carrier wave that allowed the cloning process to happen. Is that simple enough for you?  
  
vsdefender: That still doesn't tell us what this has to do with the ZEE vs Z.E.D. issue.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: The carrier wave had to be in the form of audible sound. Edison found the ZEE sound produced the best carrier wave for his cloning process.  
  
vsdefender: And Z.E.D.?  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: On the insistence of one of his assistants, Edison attempted to use Z.E.D. The first attempt with Z.E.D. produced a three headed squirrel that ate it's own entrails.   
  
vsdefender: Ugh! Nice mental picture. Didn't the use of ZEE have any similar failures?  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: The use of ZEE allowed Edison to eventually clone himself.   
  
vsdefender: Edison cloned himself??!! I'm sorry but I find that hard to believe. If Edison cloned himself then where is this clone?  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: You're thick! Just who do you think the Colonel is!?  
  
vsdefender: They don't look anything alike!  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: Holy Bimbos from Space but you're dim! Are you sure that you're not related to C-ko somehow? Haven't you ever heard of cosmetic surgery?  
  
vsdefender: Okay, moving on... I think it's time you told us who the true Z.E.D. Secret Masters of the Universe are.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: Have you flipped? What makes you think that I know?!  
  
vsdefender: You're lousy at playing stupid, Miss Daitokuji. Let me put it this way: it's time you told us who the Z.E.D. Secret Masters of the MEGAVERSE are.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: Impossible! There's no way that you could have found out!  
  
vsdefender: Perhaps in the future you'll pay your employees better. A constant diet of ramen is enough to wear anybody down.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: Ramen?  
  
vsdefender: It's amazing what you can find out after a trip to an all-you-can-eat chinese restaurant. Now are you going to confess or am I going to have to force it out of you?  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: Don't make me laugh. All I have to do is break out with the Akagiyama 23 and you're toast.  
  
vsdefender: It's sad really. I thought you were so strong but here you are, seduced to the dark side of the Z by a man.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: If you don't shut up you're going to get an Akagiyama missile right down your throat.  
  
vsdefender: I was worried that things might turn out this way so I had your large friend sabotage your powersuit before this interview. You'll find that your powerpack is dead.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: What the heck did you give her!?  
  
vsdefender: I promised her a life-time supply of eggrolls.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: MARI!!! I"M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!  
  
vsdefender: The Z.E.D. reign of terror is over, Miss Daitokuji. If you make a full confession I'm sure that the forces of ZEE will show mercy.  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: It's Gail! He's the one who brought me to the dark side of the ZEE. He and Xena are the Secret Z.E.D. Masters. They're the ones planning to destroy the Multiverse. There, are you happy now?  
  
vsdefender: You did the right thing. I know that right at this moment it's hard to find the silver lining in all this but one day you'll look back and..  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: Do you ever shut up!? Everytime you open that stupid (censored) mouth of yours something moronic always falls right out.  
  
vsdefender: On that note I think we should wrap things up. Any last words before the authorities show up to haul your sorry ass to jail?  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: If anyone out there even THINKS about turning my impending incarceration into an icky lemon fanfic replete with lesbians I will hunt you down and personally feed your intestines to rabid Tasmanian chipmunks!  
  
vsdefender: Thanks for the warning. I'm going go right out and write a fanfic that involves you, whipcream and motoroil and a large brutish prisoner named Madge. I'm sure thaAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: The Akagiyama 23 might not be working but I can still kick you where it counts you miserable (censored).  
  
vsdefender: .....  
  
B-ko Daitokuji: I think he passed out, the poor baby. So, I bet you all think you can stop us. Well, you can't! WE ARE Z.E.D.!! WE ARE THE SECRET, OKAY, THE NOT SO SECRET ANYMORE MASTERS OF THE MEGAVERSE AND WE CAN DO ANYTHING WE WANT AND YOU CAN'T STOP US!!!!! MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! 


End file.
